Ants

I feel like I’m learning how to love people. I also feel like I’ve used the word love 100+ times in the past 5 entries.. =) Its cool when God shows you how to be true and real in this world. So many people think that they do enough by just going to church or not cussing when you get angry. The whole perfection challenge, is unbeatable and unattainable. Been there done that, it doesn’t work. So I’m continuing with I guess you would call “the love diaries”..

I want to start this entry by apologizing. To anyone and and everyone who has ever felt like an ant. As low as an ant.

I’ll explain..

I think as I’m learning how to love how God does, I’ve discovered a few things, some things through other people, others through God himself revealing things. One is to be honest. People need honesty more then they need a sugarcoated lie or story thats not really the truth. They need to see character and a real person, a soul. Another thing is I am allowed to have a standard, to have a voice. And even though I’m allowed and called to have a voice, I’m also called to be submitted to God. Two ways to be me, and both are good, but are used at different times obviously.

Something I learned tonight.. people need to feel important, like they belong. Not in a fake way either. If you can’t find a reason to want to be around someone, then why are you?

Lately I’ve had moments where I was surrounded by lots of people, groups of people, even talking to people, and I felt small. really small. There were moments where I didn’t feel small. But honestly, at the end of the day, we usually don’t remember exactly what happened at a certain moment, but we can pinpoint exactly how we felt during it. And I’m telling you I felt small. Its hard to imagine feeling this way all the time, but some people do. Its insanity.

No one should feel this way, like if they weren’t even there they wouldn’t be missed. People should feel like they belong, and are wanted. Like their opinion and their words matter. They need to know we are looking for the real them and that we want to see it, that I want to see it. I guess we can’t do that if we never look their way and offer that chance to be real.

So I’m sorry, to everyone who has ever felt smaller then small, small as an ant, in my presence or with my knowing. Because truly, knowing that someone needs your encouragement, your helping hand, and not doing anything about it, is not what its all about.

Thanks for reading
(Add this entry to the love category =) What can I say, its a learning process)

_ T